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I Call Bullshit

Not written by me (maybe I should aspire towards her level of derision...)

CONDOMS
I call bullshit on those things. Unless you’re a total slut in a bad neighborhood, you don’t really need condoms. Especially in high school, when everyone is too inexperienced to have STDs. Oh, and AIDS (or should I say “SHMAIDS”). I call a huge fucking gigantic bullshit on that stupid disease. Sorry, but middle-class kids who don’t have gay sex and never use needles (i.e. 80 percent of North America) DON’T GET AIDS. I know hundreds of people, even some who died of AIDS, but they were either gay or junkies. Do you know anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone who isn’t gay or a needle user but got AIDS anyway? No, you don’t.

And STDs? Big whup. The worst ones I’ve ever heard of anyone getting are herpes and venereal warts. Herpes tends to go away after the first two outbreaks, and venereal warts are taken care of with a few blasts of liquid nitrogen. I know that technically the virus is with you forever, but talk to someone who got herpes or VWs more than three years ago. They’ve probably forgotten about them. As for the clap and gonorrhea and the other bullshit STDs, they can be cured in an afternoon. Seriously. Doctors have us scared so shitless of sex that we won’t let any guy come within a light-year of our pussies. I’m sorry. I like guys and I like doing it with guys and the guys I do it with are really cool to me. As far as my boyfriend not wanting to “wrap it”? Come on in, Craig! The only guys I ever made wear a condom were the ones who were too stupid to pull out. I haven’t seen a condom since I called bullshit on those types of guys years ago.

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I do not support her, but what she says about AIDS is quite fucking true.