Monday, June 21, 2004

***
I Hate Funerals

I'll never be able to understand them, and I will always come across as an insensitive, spoilt brat when I'm made to attend one.

Sure, I'm freaked, and I still am freaked, but this is getting ridiculous. A week long ceremony to send the dearly departed off? I thought it ended at being made to come down all the way to see a dead body, with a night of mourning thrown in.

Who the heck are half of these people anyway, with their huge wreaths and condolences and sympathies. Well, as long as they are appreciated by the other people who are more affected then I am. But it's still absurd.

She's dead alright. She's just, well. Dead. It's a dead rotting body; it's horrid to look at and it's horrid to be near at.

Can we just get this over with??

Some of my relatives didn't come down. They had a point, the point is, there is no point. What difference would it have made if I went down on Sunday or went down on the date of the Funeral? I didn't want to see her die, and I don't want to see her dead either.

Funerals are for the people that are still alive, and even if you need it; I wish you wouldn't drag me into it, because I don't want it.

Goddamnit.
I am still freaked out, and I'd really rather just forget about everything and pretend nothing's happened. I'm not sad, I can't be sad. I didn't see her every damn day, I didn't need her. She was great fun when she was around, but she was old. And like they say, everyone is given the same amount of time alive, One lifetime, no more, no less. And it was just that, she had a fair share.

I know what funerals are for.
They're meant to irritate you beyond your wits until you don't feel sad, or freaked, or any such nonsense like that.

It must be 36 Deg C at the moment.
Mosquitoes everywhere.
People repeating "Holy Mary Mother of God"
Again and again and again.

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