***
You know a game is boring when

1) No one scores a goal.
2) You don't know when the game's ended.

***

How does the gentler sex watch soccer?

With lots of comfort food, frequent trips to the fridge to refill the satay sauce and an absolute cluelessness on which goal the team we're rooting for is supposed to score in.

Oh wait, you have to know what they are wearing first.

Well sheesh, of course they'd be wearing national colours, how silly of me.

2:15 a.m.

Him 'I think the game's ended'
Me (while stuffing myself) 'But nobody's scored! It's half-time.'
Me 'Give me the outcome.'
Him 'Draw, no goals'
Me 'The guys in the red shirts are so klutzy. Italia 1 over D.'
-5 minutes of stoned silence-
Me 'Oh, I think the game HAS ended. And you were right about the score.'
Him 'Just go to bed.'