And I Find These Erotic...

Fluorescent tubers,
Trapped on a wooden lattice,
Strangled by nature.

Sun coloured street-lights
Through the leaves of trees by night,
Breach their filaments

Silk-and tar-ed paved roads,
Double-lined no parking signs,
Bright red crimson car.

***

He held my hand as we made our way to the train station, for once I didn’t have much to say. What was I supposed to feel? You were nice to me, it was fantastic sex, and fucking you was as a morning cigarette and thick coffee that was just the right shade of milk. Only I stopped smoking a long time ago when I realized I was allergic to nicotine.

We got on the train, and I started talking about Michel Houellebecq’s Platform, which I had given him to take on this trip to Thailand. It was about being alone in Thailand, pretty much anyway.

We had been seeing each other for five weeks, and now it pretty much just feels like one long, over drawn one-night stand.

His stop. He got up.

‘Well, see you in the far-flung future. Maybe our paths will cross. If you decide to stay on in Singapore, you can try calling me.’

‘Yeah. Um, it was nice knowing you, cutie.’

He hugged and kissed for what might just be the last time, and he left, well before the ‘doors closing’ segment started to play.

It doesn’t seem to matter.

It was kinda nearly as if he never existed in my life, and I wish it wasn’t. I hate it when people just fall out of your life like that, but there’s always more to look forward to. Writing about it makes me feel queer.

***

I had packed a parachute for today’s paper, only I didn’t practice opening it, and I most certainly did not double check it before I jumped. I had been too busy fucking the pilot. I mean, not like it mattered, the plane was set on auto anyway. Lots of trouble opening it, but I think someone’s coming to get me. Although I must say I never really understood the thing about the velocity you reach where you start to free-fall.

Ethan tells me to calm down and that it’ll be allright. Exams always turn out better then you expect them to be. I’m thinking of alternative career routes. I’m also thinking of getter married for an EU passport. He wants me to be near him anyway…

xoxox