Dreadful Days to Come

Believe it or not, I have been holed up since 8 am studying. I can say I am simply not prepared enough. I just seem to keep on forgetting the things I’ve put into my head every time I pick up something different. Tragic, tragic, tragic.

But no matter. I’ll be pleased to get a good enough grade to made it to design school. I was never very academic anyway, and besides, that was what I’ve always wanted to do. Aside from the time I felt like doing medicine with my cuzzie (he’s a day younger than me, and we were quite close) or when my mother had persuaded me that studying law was a cool, prestigious thing to do. I doubt I can make it to either now, and don’t want to anyway. The last I heard, Ju was thinking of dropping out of Med after repeating his second year, and my mother had actually asked me to give him a ring and offer some encouragement.

Me? Encouragement? I’m at my wits end thinking about the bleak prospects for my academic future. I am NOT going to do another year. I called him, nonetheless, but I doubt anything anyone can say to him will do any good. He’s just got to get a hold of himself.

Hah, talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

I realized I don’t actually know what I want to do with my life. I’ve got no immediate goals, no vast ambitions. I won’t say I like it to be simple, what can be defined as simple anyway? But it certainly never feels complicated. Who I’ll love, who I’ll marry, how I’ll survive when I’m no longer entitled to my dad’s credit card, all that will work itself out. You just have to be sufficiently passionate about living I think, and it’ll turn out allright.

I really do think anything is possible.

Was watching the news today; I’m always awed by the power some people have. Ramallah looked like a huge mosh pit.

xoxox