The Vatican Rag

Okay. So someone that reads this blog (pronounced with distaste) has decided to interfere into my life and mind someone else’s business but her own. Well hello, I don’t appreciate it, and neither does anyone else.

People are weird, period. Look, this is just a blog, it’s a little bit of my life. I cannot update it in real time, and things in my life change on something like an hourly basis. I tell pretty much the truth with how I feel and such, but I cannot tell everything exactly the way they are, and I because every entry requires a direction and some sort of extremism to make it engaging, it is stupid to make assumptions about me or anything that happens to me.

I cannot stand people who email me and try to psycho-analyze based on what I’ve written, and I cannot be bothered to reply stupid emails like so. Most of them are stupid anyway. Maybe I get one rational one out of a hundred; lovely. If I needed to be told I was unstable, I’d go to a shrink.

Like so many contemporary philosophers he especially enjoyed giving helpful advice to people who were happier than he was.

Anyway, I’ve written E something like a dear John letter. Frankly speaking, I don’t care much telling people things they would rather not hear, it’s difficult for me and embarrassing for everyone.

What had happened was that a friend of E’s who also reads me text him and asked him if everything was okay after she read that rather nasty post I put up. Very nice. What in the world made her think I’d even told him anything at all, or if I was so sure he was really everything I said. Sure I think he’s elitist, and hell yeah I felt pretty much molested for about slightly over a month, but that’s not to say that he doesn’t make concessions for me simply because he really likes me. And that he says somethings I’d hate to hear, because he thinks it’s good that I should know. Of course I get irritated when he tells me things I already know (and not to sound conceited, but I know what’s better for myself then he does, and him telling me annoys me- but that doesn’t mean I don’t already know he does t for ‘my own good’).

And in more retarded pointlessness, the Secondary School I attended has turned into the institution of Those Strongly Supporting the Anti-Fornication Doctrine. Their pretty much attempting to exclude all of the opposite sex into any school event; at the same time taking a stab at preventing physical contact between the girls. Letting the kids embrace each other will turn them into lesbians! Oh no, we must keep our prissy reputation as a very obedient institution of God. Oh Lord.

Let’s all just do the Vatican Rag. (So hence my little tribute to the Pope)... ripped out from Tom Lehrer's album; just as all text in orange. My dearest apologies if you're colour blind, just trust me that I give credit where credit is due)

Another big news story of year concerned the ecumenical council in Rome, known as Vatican II. Among the things they did in an attempt to make the church more commercial was to introduce the vernacular into portions of the mass, to replace Latin, and to widen somewhat the range of music permissible in the liturgy, but I feel that if they really want to sell the product, in this secular age, what they ought to do is to redo some of the liturgical music in popular song forms. I have a modest example here. It's called The Vatican Rag.

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
Sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!

xoxox