The apartment flooded again last night, but I slept through most of it while Richard pail-ed out most of the stuff after waking up suddenly with the feeling that there was something going very, very wrong. My life has started filling up with weird domestic responsibilities that have never occurred to me with my parents. Its funny having a maid around because things just Get Done. The floors are always clean, there’s always fresh milk in the fridge, and the place never gets messy and the insects are all the time kept at bay. Oh well, not that I really mind not having a maid, you’re just a neater, cleaner person because of the lack of one.
Things have changed tremendously in the last few months I suppose. It’s been 12 weeks I think, since I decided I’d had enough of screwing around and fucking about. CU has shut down in a way; having bar-top nights at Cheeky Monkey’s simply isn’t the same Firstly CM is a Banghra (sp?) club, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but CU as I remember it was to The Front Page what Top Shop is to FCUK I suppose.
Shelly called us up a couple of days ago, rather, she called Richard up, telling him her aspirations to produce a porn video, untimely enough the night after we’d attempted to watch one –which only served all the boners in the world. Porn’s generally shitty, and I’m really only interested in the super-perverse things. Mostly involving cold medical tables, spatulas and rope. It is a conundrum I suppose. On one hand, you just want videos that’ll turn you on in an instant, and on the other, crap porn is just… kinda crap. All of it. From the sweet girl-next-door video to the super fuck Jenna Jameson sort, you know what to expect, it’s cheese-o-rama, and it makes you feel ridiculous.
That’s why I like really perverse videos of Japanese girls getting it on with steel instruments. That sort of video doesn’t attempt to emulate the contrite fantasies that go on in most of our minds. It isn’t the same getting off on the schoolgirl-professor thing and watching two people act it out on screen. (besides, the girls never look convincing enough anyway). It’s the sort of fantasy that is possible, but is a little too real to life and you know how these people really are, in reality, and I find myself constantly thinking how much unlike a professor and student the actors on screen are behaving. And it makes me feel like an idiot. So.
I just want to see girls having fun with their pussies. And girl-on girl porn is mostly impossible to get off to because you know most of it is fake. Most of the ecstasy is feigned.
In other words, unless you put in the effort into a good set (god knows, scaffolding, industrial vibrators, made-in-Germany steel instruments; and even then) all porn will be the same, and no one’s porn is going to be better than anyone else’s, and you can’t make ‘art’ porn –which is what Shelly thought of doing- because there’s no such thing as art porn. The Secretary is as close to it as it can get, and it’s arousing, but it doesn’t get you off.
Of course, as an alternative, our neighbors can just look into our apartment any time of the day and see live fucking *laughs*
The weirdest thing happened some time ago when Richard pulled me out into the common corridor blind-folded and fucked me against the railing outside our neighbour’s place. Our neighbours are 3 very messy Indian foreign students that look really shady and a guy that I think must be partly Mongolian… also very shady looking (i.e. perverts). Anyway, one of them comes out while we’re minding our own fucking business *ahem* and Richard gets back into the apartment nearly forgetting to pull be back in before shutting the door. And I’m blindfolded of course, so I’d be in a bit of a shit I suppose. But he remembered. Thankfully.
A couple of days later, the both of us and the dude’s waiting to cross the street, and he can’t stop humping his hips to whatever that was on his walk-man (yeah, for real man. In an igeneration… a walkman (isn’t the whole i campaign annoying anyone else. Every product has an ii in front of it these days).
Anyway, nothing beats introducing your neighbours to your private life. Sometimes, they’d like it more than a cup of free sugar.
xoxox
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