From my other site: Babelogic.net which has other stuff.
There are a few sites I visit regularly for pure entertainment value. Apart from Facebook, which is kind of lame because no one except me ever posts really cool stuff on a regular basis, okCupid is another one. It’s got a good algorithm that matches people really well on the cerebral interests front, and it has got fun tests that you can learn absolutely random facts from, like which planet rotates clockwise (Venus). Sometimes you also come across really funny profiles. I have copied and pasted the profile of some random cute nerd that had decided to put his selling points and his warning signs all into one funny “User Manual”. I think it’s a good idea because it makes really mundane and tedious things light-hearted and fun. If he had put it in another way, it would have just made for a rather obnoxious profile (IMHO).
Also, it is interesting to me because I have been reading quite a lot of experimental fiction lately, and different ways to string a narrative is an obsession. Of course this is someone’s dating profile, so it is not art, but it is a good idea. The other 2 instances of experimental narrative I have been thinking about are the description of someone’s personal space over a length of time (which has been used before, but the only one I know of is a poem), and the index of someone’s biography (from Ballard’s Drowned World). I should start thinking harder and keep a collection of different types of ways to tell a story, it could make for an awesome novella. (I have pretty much decided that I don’t ever wish to write a full-length work of fiction because I lack verbosity -blogging is easy! Try writing 60 000 words, which is the lower limit of the average length of a novel… And I also lack sufficient working memory capacity).
Anyway, the pasted profile (he apparently also rides horses for a hobby, which I find quite charming.):
USER MANUAL read carefully!
Thank you for choosing this model of person. This version includes the advanced feature of Working Module (WM), which guarantees that this person is willing to work and make money for his future family, he enjoys both physical and cerebral works. Note that this person cannot be exposed to extreme emotions, the Empathy Training Module (ETM) is not included. Exposing to high level of emotions may cause malfunctions and stop the valuable feature, thinking algorithm. We are proud to introduce the new and improved Shopping Module, which is capable of spending money in book store, further tests required, but the recent tests show that this person cannot be used for shopping in clothing related stores. Version includes Entertainment Function, which works regularly on better days, also includes optimistic parameters. If the person looks frozen, wave your hands in front of his eyes, to catch his attention, most possibly he is only thinking. If he smiles during this time, that means he found out how to rule the world or maybe he is daydreaming about something. This person includes wide knowledge of random facts and high performance ability of learning. Also runs a well working tennis module.
1. The person can NOT read others’s minds. He won’t find out what is your problem. Voice or written conversation are required to send him a problem, and he will attempt to solve it.
2. The person can NOT reincarnate. Don’t kill him.
3. The person can NOT dance. This feature can be added to his repertoire by teaching him.
4. The person can NOT be fed by fast foods, raw meats, and most snacks.
5. The person requires loyalty, and gives loyalty.
6. The person can NOT watch Hollywood-made romantic movies.
7. The person needs at least 6 hours of sleeping each day.
8. The person won’t go to parties each weekend.
violating these points there is a risk of losing the long life warranty.
No comments:
Post a Comment