2 Vaginas, free-sized condoms and lost pants.

The dinner was great. I managed to convince the Fixer and the other dinner guest that I had two vaginas. And that I even have a website all about it: 2vaginas.com (It's just a collection of my animations ATM.) At some point, MGM got a tad bit pissed off. Being a social retard, I couldn't really figure out what it was about until later. So he went home. I called Luna and the Bit up and they said they were hanging out at the Dojo, so Fix and I went and met them. Apparently The Fixer likes Luna! Surprise, surprise... We drank more, and I became increasing obnoxious as the night wore on. It felt like I started talking, and didn't stop. Someone mentioned it. When I get drunk, I become deaf and find it difficult to listen to people. I don't like it, really.

Eventually everyone packed up and we went back to MGM's. He was fast asleep and had locked the door to ensure no further disturbances from hobos without a job. There was nothing else to do and we were really pissed, so we started making out. I swear to god, I hadn't made out with an Asian guy in what...5 years? So you see, it's not that I'm against it, its just that most of them have crap attitudes and are massively boring. Plus, I'm just  not hanging around Asian guys, so the chances of it happening were almost 0 until two weekends ago.

Anyway I suggested going into the guestroom to look for condoms. There were none, and you know, having sex with the friend of the guy I want wasn't something I was hell bent on doing TBH. I mean, if it happened then alright, some fun, no harm done etc. But I felt like I wouldn't want to go through any great length to do it, and I think he kinda felt a little bit weird about it too. So we didn't. I don't know whether that was a good or bad thing, or if it was even possible anyway because the moment I crashed on the bed, I passed out. It's that bed in the guest room man... he's done something to it. I'll never be able to have sex on it, it's jinxed to make me pass out the moment I lie down.

The next morning, the Fixer got up at 07:30. He realized I wasn't full asleep so he started talking to me.

Him:"What the fuck happened? Why don't I have any pants on?.
Me (seriously laughing my ass off): "Fuck knows. Maybe it was because we tried to have sex but couldn't and then we passed out?"

We rolled around in bed and tried to surf the net on his iPhone and talked shit until at some point he decided he had to get up to finish his laundry and went outside. I followed him and lolled about on the couch trying to read the New Yorker and while watching Amazing Race videos on YouTube.

MGM finally emerged.

MGM: "So what happened last night? Did you guys have sex?"
Me: "What the fuck? No."
Fixer: "Nah."
MGM: "Why not? What's wrong with you."
Fixer: "We didn't have any condoms."
MGM: "You could have come and asked me."
Me: "Naaaaaaah......... Seriously."
MGM: "No you could have!"
(pause)
MGM: "They might not fit though."
Fixer: "That's what HE says, the dog."