Music in the Ionosphere.

God I'm exhausted. Dani and I went to this contemporary classical music gig that turned out to be a load of wank in the end with this guy making 'music' with brain waves. The last bit was rather nice though, but for the weather. There were chartered buses that took us to the dunes, where the highest point in all Holland was retrofitted with some gadgets that received static and played it back through the provided headphones. It was the music of the ionosphere being relayed through to us. I thought it was all rather lovely in the end. Being on this hill under the stars in the mist listening to static and drinking wine.

When we got back, I was just about ready to pass out when he asked me a rather peculiar question that was really a trick question, but never mind. I gave a rotten answer and all hell broke loose. We got into a fantastic argument, it was rather heated if you ask me (for my standards). We didn't manage to go to bed till well after dawn. He's really passionate. Funny, but that wasn't one of the things on my list for what I required in a lover. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I really hated how it usually made everything intense and complicated and painful. But he is, and I'm glad for it. Somehow he's managed to make me think about a great deal of stuff I never really bothered with before.

The funny thing is every time after we have one of these phenomenal break-ups (they're quite exciting, he can get quite mad, while I'm always trying very hard to not to let any of it touch me) I feel him a little more. Little might be an understatement actually. There was one point where he said he wished he could do something to get a reaction out of me before he reached out and grabbed my face. I knew he wouldn't ever hurt me, but some sick part of me secretly found it rather exciting. 


The conflict has been resolved (thank god) and things are lovely again. I don't think I could bear to lose him. He's the best thing that's come my way, he loves me so much and I can see how happy he is to be with me. Which means a lot to me. But of course.