The Goblin.

This weekend, Dani and I went to another village to visit some other nice village folks. (I've decided that a city needs to at least have a core population of 2m to be a city). They were your typical village folk. Barbecue loving, weed smoking, peaceful people. There was a girl called Apple, a guy called Boole, another girl called Violet... and so on. Everyone ate lots of meat and mushrooms, and when the muchies came on, Violet made a huge tray of pastries with Nutella in them. Apple also made some rather special tea. I don't like that stuff, so I didn't have any of it. There was a guy there however, called Randy, or something like it; He'd drunk half a keg of beer by then and smoked an entire plant, but was still dissatisfied with his lot at present, so he drank as much of the tea as he could. Including the dregs. At around 4 a.m. everybody passed out, done in by our glutton, except him.

The next morning, we woke up to a completely spotless house. Everything was cleaned. The ashtrays were emptied, the broken glass swept away, the dog pee mopped up, and Randy was still going at it. Apple asked him what the hell had happened to him, and he told her to calm down, and that everything was going just great. He had a moment that lasted for hours and hours, he was still at it, and he felt great.

"Don't you like it! I took care of everything. I even put the goblin in the closet." He said.
"You mean the garden gnome. But I don't remember ever seeing a garden gnome in Violet's backyard..." She told him.
"No, a goblin! I put it in the closet."

Apple went to the closet to take a look in it. You wouldn't believe what she found.

There was a little boy who obviously had Down's syndrome, scared out of his wits, curled in the corner of the closet.

(Everyone panicked, apparently he was the neighbor's son, so they had to bundle the boy up in the car with someone who didn't live in the same village and take him to the police station. We found out later that the boy was trying to tell the police throughout the whole ordeal that these nasty people had put him in the closet. But I suppose the story that he was found wandering around lost on the street was a little more plausible then a bunch of retards putting a harmless little boy into the closet because they thought he was a goblin...)

Naw... of course I made that up. The boy was really found wandering lost on the street...