Thursday, April 15, 2004

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What Matters Between the Sheets
- An irreverent and unsubstantiated personal opinion and comparative guide- (Don't say I didn't warn you)

Everyone knows how important a good orgasm is, and I'm going to prove why Asian men just don't cut the bill when it comes to that.

Starting with a little survey. Randomly pick out a 100 local men off the street (Over the years I've just randomly asked guys to 'go and measure' So it's not entirely baseless). Chances are, their average penis size would be 5 inches, they can't perform with condoms -forget it, I'm not going on the pill if it's going to make me fat- and they can't last; but oh that's fine...wait.. no. They can't get up in double quick time either. Damnit.

Do that with 100 angmos you pick off New Asia on a Saturday night and the probability will be that you’re going to get really great sex with dick that’s usually at least 6.5 inches and god-knows how wide, and sex all night long. Well, the baseline is this. I’ve never been disappointed by them– although I do acknowledge that some have small-er penises, but even then, I doubt they go as small as 4 inches. But insofar as I know, I don’t think any of them have a problem performing with condoms unless they’re on flu medication.

At this point you’re probably thinking I’ve an obsession with the size of penile appendages. Well, Yes I Do.
So There.

When I was in secondary school they had moral education lessons –I was from a Methodist Institution where they made us wear cute little pinafores with zippers on the side- and the teacher would go on and on about how sex before marriage was immoral and a bad idea for the girl. (Basically, it’d make her Used.)

“Well, I wouldn’t buy my car without first taking it for a test run”
- That obviously didn’t go very well with my counselors either.

Size DOES matter. I’ve never seen a 4.5 inch dildo.

–maybe there are some for 13 year old virgin lesbians-

I don’t care what any bloody sexpert says; she’s just trying her best not to make handicapped men feel any worse –otherwise their pathetic 4 incher might just halve overnight- Sex is after all mostly psychological, and small dicks simply don’t appeal aesthetically. On a more physical level, I do genuinely think bigger is better.

Erectile Dysfunction: 60% of Indian men –the locals I believe with the biggest penises- suffer from ED. Sad eh? 49% for the Chinese. Caucasians are least prone to suffer from ED after Hispanics.



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