A-Climatizing

How. Odd.

I've started calling the home I used to live in until a couple of weeks ago 'my parent's place' and I've started to refer to Richard's apartment as home. Like I'd be sending messages saying, 'I'll be home at 6'. I've gotten a one year membership at the gym near his place (the liberal manner in which I use 'near' is arguable, apaprently) and have tried doing the laundry. I managed to get everything hung up on the line which is really a little too high up for me to get at easily, but not without sacrificing one sock and a clip. But apparently it's also alright to just lie stuff about the place on clean surfaces, as long as they dry, no one really cares. Which is kinda weird, because growing up Asian, we'd all these anally retentive rules as to how things should get done and when we should have dinner; which is also part of the reason why we're not having as much public sex as possible because we're taught to do it only in our bedrooms.

Apparently the neighbours have been throwing him dirty looks, most probably due to the freak Marilyn Manson night when I had switched into this completely fucked up bondage mode and made him whip me with a chuncky leather belt. I've still got bruises from that incident, and I find myself feeling very satisfied when I sit down in class and it kinda hurts. It like I have a little secret, and no one else does.

I was talking to him about my future after going shopping for groceries (it was really just an excuse to take a long walk) and it basically went along the lines of, 'I'll just see what happens'. I realized what a fatalistic sentiment that line had there, but I kinda knew that at the same time, I wasn't wrong in wanting to live my life with that as an underlying philosophy. I think as long as your challenged all the time, something will happen, and mostly they will be good things.

I had been talking to my dad a few days ago, and he told me not to sleep with Richard when I told him I would be moving out. It didn't make sense to me of course, because... why shouldn't I sleep with him? Anyway, there was some very firm statements about me not knowing a great of things and that I'd regret it later. Well, I don't think anyone that hasn't exactly been through the same thing can say it like that. I know loads of people that were wild when they were younger who are now very happily married and expecting grand-kids.

Sex has definitely been so over-analyzed until we think there's got to be all these fucking reasongs why we do it, and what it is. For heaven's sake. Sex is just like food, it just is. Sometimes you have it with someone you really love in a completely romantic situation, sometimes your just fucking because you want to fuck. Like how you eat just because you feel like helping yourself to it. As long as no one gets hurt, why should any of it matter. I got this really weird email telling me that I was such a hypocite and that how could I believe in Christ while 'helping' myself to my own body. For heaven's sake, it's mine isn't it. Sure it's the temple of God and I shouldn't abuse it, but we all abuse it whether we know it or not. Sleeping too late, being generally unhappy. I think that's even worse then really good sex.

But since when was really good sex not a good thing.


xoxox