If you tuned in to Perfect 10 this morning, you’ll have heard my hyper-sexed voice from about 9 to 10 going on about breasts and perversion and some other tame nonsense. But that’s the good thing about radio I suppose, you never know what’s really happening in the studio. I mean, who are you kidding. All the times when radio stations have interviewed b-grade porn stars… you think that’s all they’re doing?
Anyway it was fun. Listening to Perfect 10 from the station itself was a nice way to be introduced back into an element of my pre-adolescent days when I still thought Jean Danker was a real celebrity and that she had the most fantastic job in the world. It’s not a crap job I suppose, talking crap on the radio –its always the case isn’t it, most of the work that actually has meaning for the progress of any society is normally crap for most of the people doing it.- Justin’s recorded a couple of liners of me saying meaningless things in a fuck-me-Now voice, so hopefully they’ll use them and I get to hear them subsequently.
This blog has been a good thing indeed, and opportunities are opportunities, however you get them, and since we live in a apathetic world where nothing really is immoral or moral (you got to be kidding yourself if you think absolutes exist –because there is only one absolute for one particular situation at one particular time, and even that ‘absolute’ changes with every minute-) who cares how you do things as long as you’ve got compassion in your demeanor. There are no more dangerous people in the world than the ones that think they are absolutely right and leave room for nothing else.
But then again, everything in this world amounts up to nothing more than peanuts.
So.
Mr. Big text-ed me asking if Lynn and I were Free for Fun. Did he mean free and for fun, or free for a bit of fun. Could have been both, I never knew he was quite the word smith. I never thought about it, but R mentioned how I was being too harsh on the guys I used to see and that maybe they didn’t presume I was easy (although if I wasn’t attached, I really am. There’s no reason to deny it and nothing to be ashamed of, its no more worse than being called a prude, although the euphemistic term for easy would be liberal and up-right as opposed to prudish).
I suppose I was always constantly semi-attached and never had a problem seeing other people, until I got tired of sleeping around at about the time I went crazy over Martine and Chris requested for me to be faithful. Monogamy isn’t a natural state for anyone not in love I suppose, because their bodies would be in constant search for the One That Is the One. So I didn’t want to sleep with anyone else aside from M at that point, but I was sleeping with Chris, and he’d asked me to be faithful.
It took 2 people to reign me in, and about several years of being fed ‘sleeping around is bad for you’ and a year of realizing that too much sleeping around really wasn’t particularly good for you because it was a fantastic waste of time –if you think about the effort needed, going clubbing, picking up something you wasn’t really interested in, not being able to have a decent conversation before any bodily fluids are exchanged, and the hours wasted at the DSC clinic for regular check-ups because you’re never really sure-
I was always semi-attached, and it was never a problem to spend some time in the hot tub with B and maybe a girlfriend. But aside from the fact that I think it’ll be terribly unfair to Richard if I did spend time I could and rather would be spending with him with someone else, I’d just find it incredibly boring to do all that over again. It’s already been done, and I would do with R and Lynn because they are people I feel immensely comfortable with and it’ll be just like having drinks, only without any clothes on and in a whirlpool; I just don’t feel like doing it with anyone else. There’ll just be too much sexual pressure with someone I’m wouldn’t feel sexual towards, in return.
I suppose I sound mildly sexless at the moment –although I hope the people that tuned in this morning would disagree. I take quite a bit of pride in sounding like a protégé of Joan Chen in the Last Emperor- but it really can’t be helped. I’ve schtuped myself to injury; and the truth is, sex is very good for you, and even in excess, it doesn’t make you feel as shitty as binging on twenty thousand Snicker bars, but it can be minutely harmful in excess.
xoxox
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