Sometime ago there were a bunch of rather bored metaphysical scientist who got a rather sizable sample size of human beings and made them do crossword puzzles. They made them do the puzzle in the daily paper regularly for half a year, then they made them do the puzzle in the daily paper that belonged to yesterday (yesterday’s paper as opposed to today’s paper) for the next half a year. The crossword puzzle that millions of other people had already done, and their scores were improve by a significant, un-ignorable margin.
Today out of some weird metaphysical coincidence, I bumped into Jan. Jan. Of all the people in the world I could bump into, I bumped into Jan. I was leaving the mall when he entered at the main exit. It wasn’t like we were browsing in the bookstore, or waiting for each other at the café, hoping that one of us may eventually turn up (apparently he did just that this afternoon. He had some an almond croissant lunch at the café, thinking, what the hell, maybe I’ll bump into her).
I’d spent a rather long while browsing through CDs at my favourite record store –it’s got very current albums at super great slash prices. (I personally think it’s a very good business model. I’ve never known a CD store that got me to purchase more then 2 cd-s in one visit) And as I was leaving the mall, we caught sight of each other, and got rather excited about it.
I thought I’d never ever see him again, and the night before I was just telling my sister what a pity it was that he was so damn good-looking and not ever coming back to Singapore. Apparently tomorrow is his last day here; which makes the coincidence even all the more what-a-friggin-surprise. And to make it even weirder, he was in Vietnam for the last two weeks as well, and visited the same places I did. What was even odder was that he’d apparently spent the full-moon in a small coastal town in Vietnam, which was what E and I had done, although we didn’t go there because it was full-moon (because a lot of people did. They’ve some sort of very charming ritual where they float little paper lanterns down the river). I reckon only one full moon as passed since, so it must have been just about the same time. God damn it is weird.
He remembered just about everything I told him, down to Ethan’s nationality and the Art school I want to go to. For a near one night stand –spent one afternoon and one night with him- I thought it was pretty damn good. He just called me and asked me some more weird questions about my life and got me to tell him how good looking he was again. I thought he was pretty nice on the whole. Any guy that calls me just to talk to me is nice, not many of them do it (up to the point where I’m not very comfortable talking on the phone sometimes).
‘What are you doing tonight?’
‘I’m packed, but if you’ll agree to give me a blow job… I can make arrangements…’
‘You’re weird. I think you’re a really decent guy, and hell you are really decent; maybe it’s just me. I mean, what with asking me to bring a cucumber over the first time I decided to go over to your place, and always trying to get me to give you a blowjob.’
He is nice. The first time I told him I wouldn’t bring over a cucumber, and he shouldn’t pressure me into anything I don’t want to do, and he didn’t. Up to the point where he suggested sitting on the couch for dinner if I felt uncomfortable sitting on the same bed with him.
‘Hey, so you had sex three times a day everyday while you were with your boyfriend, and noe you haven’t had sex for a week, and you’re really horny. So tell me you masturbated with me on you mind last night.’
‘Jesus. I wasn’t masturbating with you on my mind last night. I was thinking about you, and talking to Tori about how good looking I thought you were, that’s all. But I can jill off to the thought of you tonight if you want me to.’
‘So how good looking do you think I am.’
‘You’re really just calling me to stroke your ego, aren’t you. Well, you are very good looking, one of the best looking guy’s I’ve fucked. The rest were just cute, or charming, or statuesque. You’re good looking. Although I did think you gained some weight.’
‘No way!’ (He sounded really outraged and proceeded to repeat it a few times). ‘You honestly think I gained some weight?!’
‘I think you had too much for lunch when I met you. Anyway, I’m kidding. I just can bear to proffer compliments without some er… constructive criticism. I’m kidding, honestly.’
I asked him if he got another girl in the meanwhile and he said he did. She had picked him up at Insomnia a few days ago.
‘So you going to see her tonight?’
‘Nah, got too much stuff to do.’
‘Well, I’ve told you so much about my life, it’s your turn. Tell me something about her.’
‘She’s nothing to talk about. Not as whacko as you are.’
‘You’re lying. You’re going to see her tonight because she gives blowjobs and I don’t.’
Of course I was just kidding.
Got to go jog now, I got a really cool new pair of magenta X-country Nikes, and The Gotan Project’s CD to work out too.
xoxox
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