Thursday, December 23, 2004

Biologically Speaking.

‘We’re related by law, but biologically there’s no linking between us. And besides, there are many instances of incest in the bible.’

‘We’re still part of society, and we’ve to follow it. Law, blood whatever, relation is relation and yes this is the 21st century, and certainly I’m not up-tight about a lot of things. But while you or I may think it is all right to flout convention, other people won’t. And they will be sorely hurt.’

‘Respect for society is certainly important. I’m not going to do something like behave inappropriately with a young woman in public, but there’s no one around here. Except maybe for that old guy who’s probably jealous I’ve such a pretty thing by me.’

‘Look, I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what’s going on any longer, and anyway, you know I’m pretending. To put it very blatantly, I’m not vaguely attracted to you, and cannot comprehend anything carnal, keep it and that, and please don’t do that again.’

I’m amazed at how normal I can treat the whole situation, but I suppose it’s a result of getting hit on all the damn time by men older than your own dad. I would have very much liked to have asked him what if my father did likewise to his daughter. I suppose he’d have spat something really sharp and slung the most vulgar insults. He’s all right in many respects, and when we’re talking and kept a distance apart, he’s not poor company. But I’d wished he’d stop pushing it. It’s insane how he behaves he’s bereft of sufficient self-control.

I’d told him really firmly ‘Please Don’t’ when he’d come up from behind me, grabbed me, and squeezed my breasts. And even after I’d told him to keep away; he’d still have the cheek to say I’d very firm breasts. What am I to say in response?

‘I know, but you must not do that again.’

Christ. He’s really intelligent, really rich, not too bad looking for his age; I don’t see how acquiring a mistress, or several for that matter, could possibly be a problem. And as far as I know, he’s done so in the past, however many times, I have no clue and it’s honestly none of my damned business. But I’ll not betray my father, my aunt and my dead grandmother. Whether they know or not is inconsequential, I just don’t like the idea of it. It’s just like stealing from your own parents. They’d never know it, but why do it? These people have given me (and I’d like to remind him, that they’ve also given Him) so much, and is this how you repay them? His wife is so pure and so loving, a little fanatical no doubt, but she’d never done anything to deserve this sort of behavior out of you. In fact, she’s only done everything of the opposite!

He’d only try to argue of course, and since I know that it is impossible to impose personal values onto another person, I’d eventually settled for the explanation that I simply wasn’t attracted to him. ‘To put it very blatantly’, just for the sake of getting him to stop with the lame arguments that biologically it wasn’t incest and all that. I’m not stupid, and I know every argument that you can put across to me, and still it would change nothing. I like you as part of my family, and I like you as an individual, you had always been nice to me and treated me like your own daughter whenever I visited. I’m just terribly disappointed with how things got wrong this time round and I’ve no idea why.

Oh I’m not sickened now, but I feel so annoyed when he touches me! It was all right initially before it clearly got past what was appropriate and could pass off for paternal affection.

But anyway, I’m all-right. It’s not so much about me as it is about my constant questioning as to how he could do this to his own family. If it’s just between your wife and yourself and perhaps your kids, it’s honestly none of my business. But how about mine? My parents played guardian to your girls for half a decade, and this? My dad would be devastated, it would be tragic. And even if he didn’t find out, the thought of his reaction would kill me.

*sigh*

At least things are still under control, I’m amazed at how well I can handle the whole situation. I’m not behaving any funnier around him, but I know for damn sure I’ve been firm. The only problem is, I’m completely left un-fazed, and that in itself might have come across as a sort of willingness to participate in the stupidity.

My life will never be in want for drama. I swear.

xoxox

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