Conversations in Bed.

I was lying in bed trying to rest my eyes when Liz came into the room and sat beside me. "You're not wearing any clothes." She pointed out and lifted up the sheet. "You swear by having very little on, but I prefer wearing nothing." I said, and wrapped the sheet back around myself. Joris came into the room and sat down on the other side of me.

"Okay, okay we're going soon. I just need to close my eyes for 5 minutes. To charge up my mojo, then I'll be rockin'." I said. "Hey it's cool, whatever. It's still early." He said.  I could see Liz was fidgeting slightly because she was dying to get a move on when he side this. "Sorry man, time has become almost irrelevant to us right now... the entire weekend is transforming into one long ass day..."

Joris started petting my head at which point Liz suggested fucking. Her exact words were, "If you want to fuck just go ahead lah! I've seen my girlfriends fucking in front of me before. I love watching people fuck." But I declined because I didn't want to fuck. Not right now anyway. 

Bastiaan came in at this point and I asked him what he was doing outside, and he said he was downloading his drifting videos. "Cool, I'd love to see. Although all my knowledge of motor vehicles comes from BBC's Top Gear. Anyhow, how was the girl last night?" I asked (re. we were all at the four floors of whores). He smiled, "Good time."

"You know Jacob right." Joris asked me. "Yes, the guy from last night that was entertaining everyone with his Amex." I answered. "Liz..." He said. "Yeah what." She turned around and faced him (she was looking out the window or something. She has a habit of generally not paying anyone attention unless she's having an exclusive conversation).

"This guy has a special ability..." Joris continued. "Oh god."  I said, going under the sheets. "You know what he does when he takes a hooker and she sucks in bed?" He asked. "Argh! What the fuck. What constitutes suck in bed for this guy?" I asked. "I don't know. Maybe if she is just laying there or something. That's not the point of the story." He answered.

"What's his special ability?" Liz asked. "This guy can piss with a stiff penis." He told her (include hand gesture to indicate what a stiff penis is). I almost pissed myself laughing. "So when he is fucking a hooker that sucks in bed, he just pisses in her." "What! That's so bad..." Liz said. She really meant it and looked slightly upset.

"Bastiaan! Have you had group sex?" I asked. "No. There was once we took 5 girls back, but it was us 3 guys and they got freaked out at the suggestion and 3 of them ran away, so we just told the other 2 to leave."

"Oh. Okay." I said. "Oh sorry! Haha, Jacob was the job hopping guy." I said. "What's job hopping?" Liz asked. "It's something to do with the same guy that can piss with his stiff penis." Joris told her. "There was the time he took back 5 girls and laid them down on the bed like sausages and fucked each one consecutively." "He's really disgusting." I said. "He looked like such a nice guy too." "He is! Just as long as you're not a hooker." He answered.

"Let's go an watch the drifting videos." I said.