Thursday, October 28, 2004

How Impressive is Money and Fame?

Cupido invited me to the opening of his current art exhibit, and of course I went. There will always be good wine and food at any of his parties, and the people at such event are always worth talking to anyway. I had a good time talking to his art dealer about how paintings got sold. But more then anything, I went because it had been awhile since I last saw him, was a little depressed and needed to be with someone who respected me and was sincere about it; all that, plus he is one of those people I just think are completely worth keeping in constant contact with.

There were all these important people sitting around talking about important things and drinking important coffee and all, but for some reason he paid me a great deal of attention nonetheless, which is really one of the things I absolutely like about going to any event he fixes up . Or doing anything with him, actually. The Girlfriend described him well: he’s one of those very sincere sort of people that’ll never go bad no matter how much money they make (which I am absolutely sure he is making a lot off). I like how he always introduces me according to my pet hobby of the month. Of late, it’s been erotic art, and people just get fascinated when they’re told I’m an erotica illustration-ist.

One of the big problems I had whenever I worked with him was how insignificant I felt beside all the other people with a lot more experience then I did, and the other PR people who helped him manage his work, essentially, the ‘serious’ staff. I was really someone whacking about and trying to learn something in the process. But he apparently doesn’t care much for those people, and spent much of the night with myself, and this other completely hot girl* whom I am very sure he would love to sleep with, if he could. I don’t think it’s an assertion; firstly, all men want to sleep with hot women, and secondly, he seems to have been sold to an ideology a friend of his (about 60, very rich, looks like George Clooney) expounds whenever he possibly can. That was, the one thing he regretted in his life was not getting laid at every possible chance he could. Cupido has blatantly told me about it before, and I have two thoughts on it.

One is that, he’d sleep with any woman he desires, just because he believes he should. With a statement like ‘getting laid whenever I can’, you can’t help but think, how completely rude and inconsiderate. But I know he isn’t. The other thing that came to mind was that, he’s easy to snag. And I know he’ll be around for me, or any other girl for that matter, when he can. Of course it helps that I’m content with catching up with him once a fortnight.

There are a lot of things about him I like; he’s not gorgeous, or particularly charming even, and has the dress sense of a destitute artist (paint stained tees and Capri’s), but I really can’t help liking him in that tender slightly beyond friendship sort of way. There was a point in time, for oh, about a few seconds, where I wondered if all this mutual flirting on my part was really just so I could get something out of him. But it passed.

It’s occurred to me many time, the whole, ‘Am I doing this (having sex, flirting, whatever) because I know there’s something to be gotten out of it?’ And I realized I don’t, and I never want to. It has been a good side-effect, no doubt, but I believe it’s only because I never expect anything, and that’s why good things happen. I do think people know if you’re fucking them to get something out of it. But more then anything, it’s completely against my principals. Of course I only bother with people who are worth it, but if I sleep with them, it will be purely because I want to, because I love sex, and because I think I’d like very much to subscribe to the ethic of getting laid whenever I feel like it.

I can safely say I’m not enamored by fame or money or power. All that is extremely sexy, and I have had the luck to have relationships with such, but it was the values behind all that that I find more attractive than anything else. They say women have this thing for paternal transference, where they’d like their men to be like their fathers. And in my case, it is certainly true, and very odd how everything has worked out –I have a much better, less inhibited, more intellectual relationship with my dad now. I believe, the people with money and power, the ones that are worth knowing anyway, have put in an incredible amount of discipline and hard-work (along with generous servings of God-given talent) to get where they are, I had that drilled into me since forever, and there is nothing I hold in greater esteem.

He had been talking about taking a weekend break with a good buddy and two girls (one of which will be me of course) and I suggested renting a villa, and he actually said if I wanted it, it wouldn’t be a problem. I thought the whole idea was fantastic, I liked the both of them, and if the other girl he has in mind was the hot babe* I had drawn a caricature of last night (she loved it so much she asked me to sign it, and kept it), it would be wicked. But nothing has been worked out yet, and I don’t have the time for a weekend getaway for another month at least. But it is a fantastic though… now if only Daph would loosen up with her boyfriend a teeny-weeny bit! It's just some chill out time on a beach after-all. *sigh* (Speaking of which, I will be doing a threesome fetish shoot in a derelict old shop house tomorrow, and hopefully get some PR done for future hetero-homo sexual ménage a trios-s)

The thing is, I’ve never seen him in any sort of way that has been vaguely sexual, ever, but I like him a great deal, because he’s sincere, and real, and not the least bit pretentious. I just like cuddling up with him on the couch and talking about stuff, and eating one-fifty pasta (we worked out the value of really good mushroom, tomato-based pasta last night. I wasn’t hungry, so he didn’t see the point of dining out and spending unnecessary money. Which was a blessing, because I now know how to make really good pesto).

He is, I believe, the only guy that can talk to me so blatantly about money, criticize the art business and point out that it’s really all about having good finance management and business sense –painting is costly to produce after all- be anal about how all women care for is money (‘and that’s why I work so damn hard.’) and not have me feel awkward, or like he’s obsessed with it. I genuinely do not think women are after money when they wish to have some of it spent on them. On my part, it makes me feel appreciated; it’s the feeling that I’m worth spending money on that I like. But what really, completely, gets to me is when a guy wants to go out with me and wants to do what I’d like to do. It’s walking me to where I’m going, calling in late for work because I want to sleep in, stroking me all night because I like it. Or agreeing to the exhibiting a painting he wasn’t particularly fond of, just because I absolutely loved it.

…It’s also about making a point to get a landline fixed so he can easily be reached.

… yep, Ethan has told me nothing I do can upset him. I am sure it is a lie, but perhaps he means that nothing I tell him I do can upset him. I should know him so well.

The Girlfriend has just left for Zurich, she says she will be back in a month, that was what she said the last time she left for Thailand with her guy. I’m guessing she’ll be back after Christmas, I’m sure spending the season with His family would be infinitely pleasant. She actually brought one whole kilo of Bak Kwa (roasted pork) because his mother wanted to have more of it.

Time flies, doesn’t it. I was sure it was just yesterday she told me her air-ticket was confirmed.

xoxox

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