Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Mad-capped.

I spent the last couple of hours writing yet another piece of erotica that I do not think is particularly fantastic. But it wasn't easy to maintain focus while I wrote it, and that completely annoys me. I'll carry on with it later in the day. It's loosely based around two points, the first of which is, what if Christ sinned after he was ressurrected. In this case, his death would have still been pure, and the blood shed at that time, clean, despite what happened after. Also, is it not a problem to say that he was human precisely so that he could know what humanity was all about, without sinning? (This was apaprently what I was taught in Sunday School. Jesus knows how you feel because he was a little boy once.) How is that possible, then, that he can know our torment, if he never even knew coveteousness. Perhaps he does, through some divine power, but it was certainly not because he was completely and wholly human.

The second point the prose is based on is my sudden desire to have sex with a loaded gun in my mouth.

Among other things on my to-do list, which also includes stuffing a boiled egg at breakfast up my cunt, making creamed egg with my come and feeding it to whoever I'm with, going to an unknown stranger at a bar and having him stick his fingers up my beaver, and maybe sucking a virgin cock.

Apparently it would seem that I have been reading more Georges Bataille. He always drives me to insanity, and I self-pierced my lip last night with a 19-G needle. Which is really quite thick. It immediately proved to be a terrible idea when I mis-calculated and the needle did not go through the thinnest point. Instead, it decided on a diagonal course and went through my lip instead of escaping into my mouth. Put simply, it was an inordinate amount of flesh that got injured. I got freaked out, pulled it out, and stared at my reflection for a moment in a complete daze. Then I felt my heart racing and my vision blackening, so I went to lie down. I started shivering and feeling horribly ferverish for about 15 minutes, then all was fine. Despite a rather sick feeling in my gut.

Went to visit Mike, nonetheless. He apparently lives a couple of train stations away from where I do, and it has simply been excessively convenient to get laid these days. But I think we have gotten quite sick of each other already, and he is so very German it's annoying. Completely. But nonetheless, it has been some very good sex, and he is in most respects, quite nice. Only, I told him off for being a dick by lying to me that he was going to be around for an indefinite period of time when he knew he was leaving in a couple of months. Of course I don't give a shit, but I just can't stand the idea of him cheating another girl. Guys shouldn't do things like that just to get laid, it's inconsiderate.

xoxox

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