So it’s over. Of course it’s over. I still like him in some way, I suppose, but I’d hate it for him to feel obligated to call me and ask me out. If he doesn’t want to, he should not have to. And I can very well tell when a guy calls you up because he feels that it is his duty as an ethical, compassionate human being. There is nothing more annoying then that. It undermines my personality. You should only call me up because you want to hear my voice and have a good conversation with me.
But calls out of the need to fulfill obligation are more annoying then that. Not only are they emasculating to my personality, they are also denigrating to the belief in my ability for a substantial conversation. If you’re going to be busy and call just to say hi for 5 minutes to remind me that you’re still alive and that my feelings matter to you (they do, obviously, otherwise he wouldn’t even have felt obliged to) forget it.
However, oddly enough, I’m glad he did. Because it made me feel annoyed, and made me realize that he really can't, and therefore doesn’t, want anything more then a sort of cerebral, celibate, and most certainly not romantic, friendship. Because if it were to get even slightly so, it would be a bad idea, and all hell will break loose. (Have I mentioned that his reason for not wanting to see me otherwise was really damn good? Because it’s really damn good. It’s the most fascinating reason, ever, and for it, I am glad to have liked him for awhile.)
It does seem to a great number of people who have emailed me that I have been ‘used’ and ‘taken for a ride’ -all puns intended. Well, think what you will. The only thing that really upsets me about it is that for all I am, I simply haven’t been able to make him irrational enough to want to carry on dating me. It’s an ego thing that upsets me, but all that is easily gotten over with after a nice long run and a good look at how sexy I can get.
Feeling like someone’s calling you out of obligation is really one of the most unpleasant feelings, in my books. I know very well that I unintentionally made him feel obliged to. It’s just something girls do, but I honestly didn’t had not meant to. I was just hurt, so I told him so, despite knowing full well that it would make him feel bad.
But I’m over that. It’s not a nice thing to do and it’s incredibly stupid and exceedingly childish. Women who do it to get what they want are evil.
'You tricked me into liking you! Now you owe me the world.'
He didn’t trick me into liking him, we really had something going on, it’s just not something presently sensible to indulge in, that is all. Girls who do that without feeling sorry for it (and I am sorry. Apologetic to him and to myself, because it’s made me feel stupid and evil) really should know that the guy genuinely did like them, Then. Only, they turned out manipulating and scheming eventually, and gave them no choice but to have left them.
Any girl can keep her man as long as she stays attractive to him (get off your ass and work your fat butt in other words. It’s good for you anyway) and doesn’t behave like a horrendous bitch from hell when he cheats. Oh people are all cheating bastards, male or female. There’s nothing you can do about it. Which is more important? Forgiving, and thus making him go, ‘oh man, she’s so nice. She doesn’t give me a reason to leave her (i.e. she’s not making me sleep on the couch every night) despite me being such a dick’ Or thinking you can get somewhere by screaming at him all day, which will only get him incredibly annoyed, and even more reason to leave the mad hag for someone that’s treating him better. And it’s terribly easy for anyone else to treat a guy better. You just have to choose not to ask him constantly why he thinks with his dick so much.
Because it’s pleasurable and natural, that’s why.
xoxox
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