Life tastes kinda like Vittoria

I woke up today and life felt like black coffee. I was so tired but going back to bed simply wasn’t possible. Greg returned from Amsterdam the night before last, expressly to see me before he went back home. He brought me lots of hazelnut chocolate. I spent the last two nights at his place and did the dirty with him (unbelievable. After 6 weeks of knowing him and sleeping in the same bed all this while… I’ve really been exercising self-control) Then again, there’s the fact that he’s not around most of the week anyway. He’s paying too much on his place, and I’ve offered to look for a nicer one for him, and do all the furniture shopping etc. and fix it all up when he’s not around. He’s been so very kind to give me liberties over his apartment, I am quite thoroughly surprised.

My mom’s found out I went to HK, Big deal, I kinda actually wanted her to. Left a bunch of receipts around and my ticket stubs. I don’t think I’ll ever tell her the truth though, I cannot possible see what is there to be worried about. Sometimes I feel as if she feels that I’m slipping away, and she’s just trying to hold on to me but she knows she can’t (if they threaten to throw me out of the house, I will just stay out, and if they stop giving me money –which they don’t anymore, really- what difference would that make-) I’m surprised at the people I’ve met in the last couple of months that have been very willing to help me out. And if push comes to shove, at least I’m not broke. (I know I’m oh so sans-Asian when it comes to this kinda things, filial piety and what not, but there’s how else am I supposed to go about it? I’ll spend time with my mom if she wants me to, but everyone has to grow up sometime) I cannot stand how she tries to use emotional blackmail on me all the fucking time. For Christ’s-sakes, the whole, ‘if you had a daughter, how would you feel’ excuse is just so weak. She’s her mother’s daughter, and she’s not living with her any more, neither does she tell her mom where she’s going or any such thing. I’m sensible enough to figure things out on my own, and I’m responsible for my own well-being, and I must say, aside from her, I’m doing very well.

Greg’s cooks for me all the time, takes me shopping for CDs, and has promised he’ll try his best to go to Auckland with me come June (I really, really miss NZ) He’s been so incredibly sweet (promised me his undying love and dedicated attention, in return for a packet of Japanese noodles every time I want him to cook dinner). I won’t say he’s a fall back after M, he is who he is, and I cannot stand treating anyone as a …what-do-you-call-them? Ah, Rebounds. He is who he is, is crazy about me, and not clandestine about our relationship, although he has much more to lose then M, if anyone ever finds out. And oh, he doesn’t mind the fact that I’m not exclusive and will never be, although he would very much wish it.

Maybe I’ll be going Bangkok this weekend, but I hope Chris comes down instead. That way I can get him to buy me that PowerBook I really, really want. When I that, and bring over my trainers and gym outfit to Greg’s place, a bunch of clean panties, I’ll not have to come home if I’d rather not. And when he’s back with his wife, I hope to be in Paris.

In the meantime, I’ll be partying with the Jim Bean Party Crew along Mhd Sultan tonight!

PS. My apologies for not answering my emails, especially the longer ones. I still read them all, but there just isn’t the time for replying these days.

xoxox