Don't have sex for money. Don't ever pay for it. If you are like most normal people, and not just seeing a prostitute for the heck of it, Don't. Feelings are bound to get involved, eventually, and love is not supposed to be a deal. It was never supposed to be a deal. Not a finiancial one.
I am too exhausted, but in the last few days, I've just learnt so much. I'll write about it soon, and I hope you'll learn from my great big fuck up. I'm not sorry for it. I'm sorry for the people I've hurt, certainly. So sorry.
I love Chris, I really did, but the sex and the money ruined everything. I'm going to make things right with Dr. Seuss before I lose another wonderful friend. It's just not worth it. I'd rather be broke then have behaved the way I did because it was simply completely untrue to myself.
You can lie over dinner, lie over a conversation, but you damn well can't lie in bed.
xoxox
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