I am going to die!!

I've just been nothing but sad the last couple of weeks. Sometimes I'm happy, but mostly not. Which doesn't really bother me, as long as I get to run off parts of it and talk about it the rest of the time and recieve good advice.

Here is a piece of advice for any very, very, very beautiful girl who is also very, very crazy and very talented.
1) If there's someone that's normally rational that's crazy about you, don't blow it.
2) Don't date someone overseas. Unless he can pay for you to visit him often. Like often often. Like once a week.

I've been an idiot, oh I've been such an idiot. But I've finally told Martine NO. No oh no oh No, No, No. I cannot be expected to wait for him to fix himself up. I cannot allow him to just expect me to wait around forever, I cannot deny the people that love me anymore. I'd be the biggest most selfish idiot to do so.

I'm going to Bangkok to find Chris tomorrow.

xoxox