How Auspicious

Of all the strange things that can happen to you while staying over at your boyfriend's place, waking up to find his living room completely flooded is not one of them. It's even more odd then the time I got locked in H's bedroom when the lock sprang into it's holder and refused to retract back into the door. We've been trying to figure out where all the water's come from, because he's not even living on the ground floor. It is a relief thought that for some reason or another, we'd decided to pack up the place a couple of days ago and stuck all the expensive art books on raised surfaces.

I've been sick these days. It's possibly a combination of a lack of sleep and too many things to do with not enough time to do them. My voice is completely gone, and I was absolutely miserbale last night. But Richard's been very sweet to me. But then again, feeding me a sleeping pill isn't a greatd eal of effort I suppose, but sick people just need to be left alone.

The girlfriend and I had dinner yesterday, and I was telling her how great things were going on between me and R and she said something like, 'well, come back and report to me in three months'.

Personally, that sort of thing has never bothered me. I mean, what's the point of trying to look at something so far flung as where the relationship will be a few months from now. What about now then? You've got to be kidding if you're willing to sacrifice your happiness now for some unsolidified future. Anything can happen, and it makes you lose your drive to persue the daily pleasures in life. And it makes you take advantage of people, I think.

This is what's going to happen, it doesn't matter what I do, it will happen. So of course you take advantage of people like that. That's why we're always taking people like our parents for granted *guilty look*. Complaceny, darling.

Everyone should have something everyday to look forward to I think. Living can be a drag as it is. All the bullshit we've to deal with everyday, and annoying people that are so full of themselves you wish you could hit them on the head with a shore, we need every little bit of something we like to make it easier.

I thought about the things I look forward to everyday, especially these days, and they're all very simple and constant and easy to achieve. Like having the time to tell a story, or the time to draw weird shit in my notebook, or have long brunches in the cafe while reading whatever books I want to. People need something to look forward to, don't they. I can't imagine if they didn't. I suppose that's why they fall in depression. Perhaps the people most prone to depression are the very highly strung individuals that always expect to achieve too much and do too much and lose sight of the little accomplishments and the little adventures that are to be had daily.

Yesterday something rather odd happened to me. I'd taken my little sis out to lunch, and we were eating at this al-fresco place filled with people in boring work clothes talking about silly things like the best place to have tim-sum at the cheapest price. We talkined about how we needed to do somethinc completely crazed someday to freak them out, and right there, Tori pulled my hair, pushed my head back and kissed me. We burst out laughing after that of course, but the only other time I had felt like that was when I'd kissed my first girl. It's a weird feeling that, doing something that goes beyond normal platanic 'friendshsp' behaviour.

I'm not feeling very well today. I'll go and lie down I suppose and read Neil Gaiman's Mirror Mask. I'm sure it'll be better then Harry Potter.

xoxox