Monday, July 25, 2005

Sell-out

Unbelievable. 3 weeks, and Richard was persuaded to church with me. And my parents. Of course he didn’t go for the spiritual… indemnification. I don’t know why he did go, perhaps a combination of nothing better to do at home (unless you count cleaning up the apartment as something better to do) because I wanted him to go, and because it was just one of those weird things out of the ordinary that he didn’t normally do.

My parents liked him I suppose, but then again, it’s not like they haven’t met him before, which is really kinda weird because that happened years ago. And he’s really kinda decent and chilled out and doesn’t mind piling up in the back of the car with three other people. It just occurred to me that one of the things I like best about him is that he isn’t long winded. You’ll be surprised at how many people keep on going on over the same things.

After long last, I finally met Greg again. He’s brought back three loves of Vogel’s from NZ (bless his soul! I’d been fussing for a long time after I’d left over how I could acquire that stuff somehow. There’s no toast like Vogel’s, I swear.) and heading off for Paris tonight. We talked about Shelly for a little bit, she’s out of town gallivanting with some super money boyfriend and thinking about planes makes me sigh that school is going to start soon. I’ve got to go for Orientation this afternoon, and I can scarcely believe it. School is going to start next week.

I can barely stand it. 8 months of near utter bliss. Of doing what I want, flying to where-ever I wish, living slightly extravagantly and definitely madly. I’m looking forward to the Rubber Ball, and other relevant mad parties.

Greg told me I was lovely, but not to get a big head about it. And you know, I realized that getting a big head over the person that you are and what you’re able to do is really one of the lamest things. Because you owe a large percentage of that to the people around you that have made you the person you are.

I’m was a little sick, still am. But set up R’s meeting at his place anyway. Because I didn’t want to be left out, but certainly couldn’t leave the apartment. The Girlfriend came along. In a way I’m glad she did, although I need to ask her about it. It’s none of my business, but that boyfriend of hers doesn’t seem to be doing her any good. I don’t suppose there’s anything wrong with him, but if she’s feeling sad that often within their relationship, maybe it’s time to move on. I tried to get her to have some fun (completely encouraged R to go for it *grin*) But nothing happened of course (or should it be, rather disappointingly?) One of their friends came by, and he kept on winking at me through out the whole night. Which completely annoyed me, because I mean for god’s sake. I’m your friend’s girl and I’ve got previous sort of friendship with you, and can’t you tell I find you kinda… annoying. I suppose I felt that way because he was just so darn pessimistic about every darn thing. But it’s no fault of his I suppose, the lot in life he’s dealt himself doesn’t particularly do much for his hopes, I’m sure.

It was a sort of pointless gathering thing with too much booze, but no one drinking enough, but kinda fun still, with R telling me after wards that he was jealous as hell when someone else touched me. It’s flattering, and I feel uncomfortable with someone else touching me, but I’m not going to worry about that yet. It’s crazy, but I’ve been gallivanting around so long the concept of exclusivity hasn’t completely sunk in yet. But I’m sure he’s got no plans to change me.

I kept on thinking about the concept of selling out, and fame for the sake of fame, and I might be wrong, but the people that eventually end up being successful are the ones that don’t sell out. The people that do things because they love doing them and because they believe in a higher purpose other than commercial gain, or attention for attention’s sake. And even if they don’t eventually get anything out of it, why should it matter, because they’d have a lot of fun doing what they did anyway. So it’s a no lose situation. I’ll just do what I feel like and what I feel is right, and I’m sure things will work out peachy.

I could go on forever, but it’s time to run off to a photo-shoot.

xoxox

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