Sunday, July 03, 2005

Of Course it Would Be.

If he’d broken contact with my skin, I would have died. I wish it never started, because now I know what the ultimate pleasure was. I wish he didn’t have to break contact with my skin, but inevitably it will happen and I think I know it, although I wish with all my heart it were not true. My fault, his fault, it did not matter.

Will I ever be able to love properly, to love genuinely. Did such a thing even exist in the first place? Perhaps I’m too conditioned by MTV, by Sex and the City, by oh, a whole lot of things to ever really be able to feel love like it was meant to be.

If it was ever meant to be.

I wish I could feel like my heart was blazing and my skin burning with lust every second of my life. And if I never accomplished anything; what did it matter. To feel powerfully all the time, would that not be worth it? Of course it would be.

It’s not possible.

But of course it would be. Of course it would be worth it.

xoxox

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Used to feel the way you do now. But trust me, when you found THE ONE, you'll love unconditionally. All the best!

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Anonymous said...

your blog is wonderful, love it alot. continue to input your though. Realise most ppl using anonymous to critise you. just don't understand why they want to read your blog since they're not appreciating.

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Vish said...

hey girl, don't bother about the anonymous comments. tis cowardice that dares to criticise people behind an anonymous facade.

whatever it is, you really are something, girl. to go through this kind of shit and still keep your head.

*hugs*

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, you are one ugly mama.

Please stop rationalizing your difficulty in getting Singaporean men by saying you like white men.

The simple fact is that few Singapore men would want to do anything with you sexually.

There are far too many better choices of women. One would be in pretty pathetic shape to choose you over other women.

Besides, it is likely that the sort of white men you attract are old gheezers who have to resort to paying transvestites at Orchard Towers to get a blowjob.

If that is the sort of guy you like, more power to you.

Would some white trash please marry this Stupid-Pathetic-Girl and get her out of Singapore?

Anonymous said...

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Isabella Chen
SAJC 2004

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