Saturday, July 16, 2005

Public Behaviour

I am absolutely convinced I know what men want in women.

They want a-lot of things, but I know there's one thing all of them would definitely like to have. And if you're a girl and you don't believe he wants that, it's a pity for the both of you. You'll have boring sex in boring places all your boring lives.

Men want a little hell angel.
And being one is sure as hell fun.

I remember having a conversation with the Girlfriend about threesomes, while Ethan was there, and the both of us (E and myself) agreed that all guys like kinky sex. She didn't think so though. And since I'm not the one that dated her boyfriend, I couldn't disagree with her. Maybe he was really all that straight-laced. Threesomes aren't a bit deal, they're not all that fantastic, and there's really nothing about them that should make anyone go out of the way for a ménage a trios. But it's not something anyone should discount from their lives either, because done play-it-by-ear, it can be a whole lot of fun. Not to mention a very good experience, and some great bonding time with your best friends. Or whoever it is you end up being in bed with. I will definitely not recommend having threesomes with people you don't already like a great deal. You'll realize there's nothing more tedious.

Richard and I got completely bonkers last night, and it was his fault as much as it was mine. Now most people like going wild, there’s nothing better then the feeling of liberation, but some of them are just too conscious of other people watching and judging to do so.

When I got up this morning, I had just about forgotten all the weird shit that’d happened last night. But it was good he reminded me, because most of it’s actually pretty funny. Mostly because I woke up with the person I got fucked with, and he turned out to be someone I really, really like. It would have been different if he’d turned out to be some boring loser that was only kinda fun when we were both drunk, or some idiot that really just didn’t care and wanted nothing more than a shag. All the both of us could have wanted last night was lots of great sex (what else would you want when you’ve downed half a bottle of Absolut in under and hour), but somehow, it’s different when you know the other person actually really wants you as a person. It’s the difference between sex and desire.

Now if I had woken up this morning beside some loser, with my dress creamed up with a mixture of the following: Chocolate Sauce, Absolut, Piss, Vomit and Cum, my panties completely soaked up with got-knows-what nonsense that kept the floor of the car constantly wet. That last night the both of us just had some pretty public sex in a car park corridor after which he drove me all around the area just behind Oxley Road just so I could… purge my tummy on a particularly pristine piece of real estate. You know, fuck the rich people kinda stunt. Although I didn’t really have all that much puke and didn’t vandalize anyone’s private property. (Better say that, later I get charged for a crime that isn’t mine). Sounds like something straight out of Gorges Bataille, doesn’t it.

If it hadn’t been him. Remembering all that, while still feeling a little off the rocker would have sucked major-ly. But it was Richard. And it was all actually very funny. Especially getting your pussy licked at a red-light. It’s one of those feminist ultimatums I think. The whole suck my dick while I’m driving down a highway as I wait to end both my life and yours is so out-dated.

Be good and stop the fucking car before you have oral sex, for heaven’s sake. And start with the girl first. Women like that.

You know, Ladies first.

xoxox

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