Cluttered.

Life has been such a lacerating pain recently. I can’t seem to look at the little joys and accomplishments as much as I would like to, and it feels like everything is making fun of me. And religion and morality! I wished they’d leave me alone. Sometimes I want to scream and ask what is the point in them. Who is to define how I perceive them? Why should anyone but me define them for myself.

***
But one little nice thing did happen.
The Boy called last night, rather late, just as I was about to run my daily. Talking to him is always pleasant, and unnaturally reaffirming. Unnatural because I find it strange that a voice over the phone can be more comforting sometimes then the presence of someone real.

I found out he played the flute and didn’t particularly like any scenario in bed that involved cherries. And that if you entered all the bad things into a career consultancy program produced in 1998 (things like how your hobbies were drinking, sitting in front of the tele and having casual sex) it’d tell you to go to the army.

He claims he remembered every day we spent together. Rather… excessive, but something I like to hear, nonetheless!

We’re working on getting my ass down to visit him soon. At least it gives me something to look forward to.

***

Mr. Big texted me just after I hung up, and truth be told, I was in no mood to see him. Reliving every single day I had with the Boy just made the past couple months sleeping with the former all rather drab. He lacked a sense of romance, and that really frustrates me. Like, can’t he take me out for champagne, walks along the river, picnics, breakfast by the pool. I like all that (being essentially female at the end of the day), but he never bothers to find the time.
Perhaps it’s also my fault. I never always bother to find the time either, and I probably don’t want to. Go figure.

Ah. But I wished him Bon Voyage anyway and took home his plants after some deliberation revealed that they would not survive without water for half a month. It was all quite absurd, carrying round a bunch of plants to lectures for the whole day. Not to mention a rather cumbersome task! But it was managed, with the creatures still rather intact at the end of the day, sandworms, aerial roots and all other relevant appendages.

xoxox