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The Just Friend Bullshit Line

(Some random, perhaps rather boring, gossip)

Allright, I admit it. I like dumb American sitcoms and I watch the 70's show. In one particular episode, Hyde really bring out the bullshit of the friendship excuse. "You know what girls call guys who are lame in the sack? Just Friends." Only too true.

The thing about being nearly perfectly honest with your partner is that you get to hear things you otherwise wouldn't. And most of the time they prove to be damn amusing. Oh I know I'm gossiping, but I can't help it.

I asked Mr. Big how he was getting along with his tennis mate early this morning (while he was feeling sort of altruistic and giving me a full body massage) and he started laughing and telling me how things were starting to get rather weird between the both of them.

Apparently he had sent her home a couple of nights ago after some serious partying at Bar None and she’d ask him to come up to his place for a nightcap.

Me “What’s a nightcap?”
Him “It’s synonymous with asking do you want to have sex.”
Me “Oh? Like asking someone if he’d want coffee in the backseat of my car, except for the fact that I don’t have a car?”

He refused and told the girl –well, she’s a woman really. She’d just hit the big Three Oh- that it’d make things weird between them. Then he went home and started fixing himself up for bed (Usually a long fussy process) before she called again, to have the weird sort of conversation people have after they’ve just been rejected for sex by a friend. They hung up abruptly before she called again sometime later.

“Can I come over to your place?”
Him, “Uh, what are we going to do?”
“I’d just like a sleep over.”
(exit scene)
Me, “Hah! On the same bed? And did you agree? Well, I think she’s kinda gutsy to have been so forward.”
Him, “Yeah I thought that too. And I didn’t want to make her feel any worse so I had to concede”
(How considerate)
So she came over and they slept on the same bed. Well, not like that’s a big deal. I’ve slept with boys on the same bed and not had sex with them. Hell, I’ve gone one on holiday with them and not slept with them. Sometimes you just want a cuddle and only that. But he didn’t do that though, which I thought was mildly weird.
Me, “Have you ever cuddled a girl but not had sex with her?”
Him, “Well, you? Your girlfriend?”
Me, “Sheesh. There were three of us in the same fucking bed and she’s straight as a beanpole. That doesn’t count. Hah. I’m surprised you remembered that though, that was funny. I was quite taken aback when she invited us to your place then.
Well, c’mon. You didn’t even cuddle her? Innit weird hey.”
Then he went on and on about how their relationship was too weird at that point in time for him to do that and all.

“Oh? If she looked like me I bet you’d have fucked her. I didn’t find her that attractive. Admit it!”
“All right, you’re right. I didn’t find her attractive.”

Ah Hah.

xoxox