***
Shudder

Now I remember why I stopped clubbing for a long while.
Because I'm perfectly incapable of restraining myself from a number of things when I’m out there getting down.

Lets see. In a matter of oh, about under 6 hours, I have pissed of so many people. In retrospect, I shouldn’t care, because I didn’t think it was all really my fault. Fine, so the party was a flop.

At about 1 am, a combination of the lack of my friends at my party (I hate them. Seriously. How could they do this to me? They were all like, oh you’re party sucks. Yeah I KNOW it sucks. It sucks because you guys didn’t come! I threw it for you, you bastards. Everything was set. It was such a pretty club, and it was small and we got a DJ specially to play music that you’d like. Oh DARE I say this? Music to cater to the lowest common denominator.)
Anyway, the lack of people I knew personally, and wanted to be with, along with the fact that I was sort of, kind of drunk, and how some bastard who’d heard some nonsense about me turned up just to see if I was really gave free blowjobs; All of that really got to me and –not that I’m trying to harvest sympathy or anything- but by 1 am, I was nearly all in tears, but couldn’t be because I always have the coolest eye makeup on, and it wouldn’t do to have it run. Heh.
I hate them, I hate them, I hate them.
Oh yeah, I’ll be there! For sure, we know you, so we’ll be there. You’re so cool like that blah blah blah. Well, I hate the lot of you. You have no idea the amount of effort we put into getting this thing going, and you have no idea how embarrassed both the Princess and I are.
You know what. This is too much of a pain in the ass for me to want to say anything about it, ever.

***

On another note, Mr. Big had to call at 2 and talk to the Princess. I seriously have no idea what they talked about, but when I picked up the phone and went, ‘You know, I kinda want to stay here for a little while more because it’s my party and my girlfriends are still here… I think I should just stay’ He went, ‘Well P didn’t express your need to be around’ And for some reason or other that was It. I just blabbered away. I told him the things that bugged me the most.
‘You know, it’s like I’m sleeping with you and I don’t even know you. We talk a lot but we don’t seem to talk about anything. You know! You never see me off in the mornings, you just lie in bed and not get up, and you almost never meet me where I want to be...” Rant, rant.
All guys behave the same way when their girls go on and on like so. It’s universal, I swear. They shut up and don’t say anything. I hung up after awhile, I felt kinda stupid talking to something no better then an answering machine. But I suppose it’s better like that. I can’t imagine if he started ranting too. I would probably have thrown my phone across the street and regret it very much later.

You know, the funny thing is, I’ve never done anything like that before. Ever. I’m not all that difficult to please, and the thing is I DO want and try to be the perfect girl. Maybe it’s innate in all women. Some biblical thing. Eve was never made to be subversive. I just wish he’d make me want to do all the things I want to. People usually need to do stuff for other people first, before they’d want to return the favour. I don’t think that’s all that uncommon, maybe he feels like that too. That’s why things might never work out.

My girlfriend says I shouldn’t bother anymore. And I think yeah, maybe I shouldn’t. It’s been a short, subdued ride, and I probably won’t miss it.
I don’t know. Whatever. If he never calls me again, so be it.

***
I hate getting drunk.
I actually pulled down my skirt so everyone could see my SG panties at the Cayote. I have NO idea why I did that, and am currently consoling myself that I will not be seeing those people for a long time. But it’s no big deal to me if it’s no big deal to them. It’s just a pair of panties.
I’ve got this pair of knickers that says I’m With Stupid. Now that would be a funny one to flash. Especially when I’m standing beside a bloke on the bar-top. I don’t like blokes on the bar-top.
You know, that was the only fun bit I had last night.
They had this strange competition, which I didn’t win, for some reason. I’m sure I was the best. Come ON. I might not be the most fabulous dancer, but I sure as hell can dance properly (Not an assertion, can guarantee you that) and well *laughs* I thought I was quite entertaining. Maybe they just didn’t know who to cheer for.
Think… Ludivine Saignier as Tinkerbell in Peter Pan.

xoxox