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Paper, Pen and Glue Journals

Blogger has a lovely new user interface!
I love this place. When I first heard about it 3(?) years ago I thought it was a fantastic idea. It was about that time I heard of 1000journals too, both of which bring out my idea of what a journal should be. Something private, yet public. Why bother to put in so much effort only to have no one else but yourself enjoy it. What a waste then. I like the idea of 1000journals, but have sadly not been able to aqquire a copy. Been thinking of starting one; when my site's up, I'll get it done. It'll be fun as long as it moves quickly and people scan in pages regularly. There's an online version, The Couch. It has so much potential... but the creators aren't doing enough.

On the topic of journals, I finally got the nerve to open up this really old one I shared with the only boy I ever felt I was truly in love with. It's all nonsense to me now, but back then it felt so real. There was no cynicism, no apathy, no doubt, within the relationship. Puppy love it was, but no matter. I opened it up to a page where we had our first 'break up', and there's only one emotion I can use to describe it. Disgust. You know how it is after some people fall out of your grace; everything about them, all they've ever done, simply turns sour.
Within the entry, he was telling me how he didn't wish to bother me -it was during the period of one of my most major exams ever- How he's just swallow all his hurt and leave me alone, and I was replying with nonsense like, Oh, you shouldn't do that. We'd still be such good friends, I'd still be there for you; Oh how sweet you are to be so un-selfish *shudder* He's such a self-destructive fool. I never wanted to break up in the first, he initiated it, because he saw that it 'wasn't going anywhere'.
Well, are we ever really going anywhere anyway? We live out the course of our lives, then die. So where are we going? All I'm doing now is leading to nowhere. I just enjoy doing it, that's all. And I find it ironic that such a phrase should come from the mouth of someone who has no purpose in life.
I don't normally dislike anyone intensely, but he is one person I can say this to; Oh how I abhor you.
Good riddiance. It's amazing how you can feel so intensely positive towards someone for half a year and hate him so intensely for a time much longer then that.

In other news...My internet connection's all fixed. All it required was a really simple solution, thank God. No removal of router and other such nonsense.